“Excuse me, but is that a tiny cinder block?”
That’s the question I’m asked pretty much each time I take my wallet out. I almost always take that opportunity to introduce them to Cindy the Cinder Block. I explain about Earl Granville, his twin brother Joe who tragically became part of the 22 a Day statistic for suicide amongst veterans, what Cindy represents, and why I carry it with me wherever I go.
That’s the question I’m asked pretty much each time I take my wallet out. I almost always take that opportunity to introduce them to Cindy the Cinder Block. I explain about Earl Granville, his twin brother Joe who tragically became part of the 22 a Day statistic for suicide amongst veterans, what Cindy represents, and why I carry it with me wherever I go.
So what does Cindy the Cinder Block represent?
In order to answer that question I must first give a quick recap on the Granville twins who both joined the PA National Guard. They deployed together several times. The final time Earl deployed he was the sole survivor of an IED that also caused the loss of his left leg. Unfortunately, 2 years later Earl lost something far greater and far more important. Joe, the older of the Granville twins, could no longer fight his demons and took his own life.
Earl worked hard to recover from the physical, emotional, and mental injuries he sustained by the IED while also struggling with the suicide of his twin brother. He began challenging himself by getting in shape again to participate in a variety of obstacle courses and runs such as Spartan races, Tunnels to Towers, and more. It was during one such event that he found the cinder block that would later play an important role in his life and the lives of so many others. Cindy became a physical representation of the burdens each of us carry and a perfect addition to Earl’s message: “We’re all in this together, it's important to challenge ourselves by staying on the move, and it's important for us to fight the good fight.”
I have never worn a military uniform or put everything on the line to protect our nation and our freedoms. I’ve been told, however, by many wounded warriors that while I’ve never seen the theater of a war zone lugging pounds of gear on my back while carrying a gun under constant threat of danger, I have still been fighting a war for 15+ years and know the feeling of having my life hang in the balance. I’ve been fighting a medical war against the infections that threaten my life with multiple bouts of sepsis. Infections also took my right leg above the knee in September of 2007 and my right arm below the elbow exactly 11 years and 8 days later.
Earl was kind enough to send me some Team Oscar Mike gear this past year (a public non-profit foundation formed to support the mission of keeping our veterans On The Move : Oscar Mike in military terminology) including my own Cindy the Cinder Block keychain. I attached it to my wallet so it is always with me and a constant reminder that while I carry some very heavy burdens of my own, I don’t have to carry them alone. When I’m feeling anxiety and the weight of what’s happened bearing down on me, my mini Cindy reminds me to talk openly about my struggles especially with the important people in my life. It reminds me to do what has never come naturally to me... to allow others to help carry my burdens.
When I pull out my wallet and see Cindy I’m also reminded of what Samwise Gamgee says to Frodo in Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings : The Return of the King, “I can’t carry it for you but I CAN carry you.” I’ve slowly been learning over the years, and now have Cindy as a reminder, to continue working on allowing friends and family to carry me and my burdens when the weight of it all overwhelms me.
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